Imagine... Someone thought this looked like a good idea

Ahh, this store was a treasure trove of unfortunate couture. Every week, my friend M and I would walk by on our way to dinner, and a new monstrosity would be there. Some were overwrought rococo delights, and others were simple in their awfulness. Like this one.

I think of this as "Knit Shit Fit", although "#9 Nightmare" would also work and be more thematically correct. This ensemble features a fat-wool knit sweater - short sleeved! - with a loose but identifiable representation of John Lennon's face integrated. The trademark granny glasses are, however, hand-stitched on afterwards, sloppily, in contrasting colors and irregular diameters. Pfft, consistency is so bourgeois.

On top of that, is a delightful bilious yellow extra-long scarf. Because you gotta keep your neck warm if you're in a short-sleeved sweater, right? And everyone looks awesome in faintly greened babyshit tints. That's the O-Negative of colors, if I'm not mistaken.

This store window (also the source for the Nancy Reagan horror show, and the demise of which I shall forever lament) also had an awesome outfit featuring what I think of as "diaper pants", where there's a waistband, and then tights from the knee down, but between those two places is a baggy, pleaty sack with the crotch at mid-thigh. You know, lots of room to disguise the loaded diaper within. Alas, it was black on black, and the photos didn't show the subtleties. Just imagine chafing. Lots of chafing. But I suppose you could skip carrying a purse.